AA Universe - Simple Shorts: For the Benefit of Society

[dumbtime]

Hello McComic Fans

I’m happy to say that I’m helping out Doc Robo by filling in a few slots for the vacationing artists this week. Today’s update kicks off a new adventure in the American Amazon universe. It’s a simple short that will run during the summer along side the Origins series.

The story idea for this simple short was incorporated from a short story written by Knyght16 in the forums a few years back. It’s located in stories thread - http://www.hipcomix.com/forums/viewtopi ... &t=9072520.

Prologue:
A new character is on the scene and looking to right some wrongs. But, will she be able to exact the justice that is needed. Her name is Dora O’Connor and she is a junior agent at the F.I.A. She’s also a fiery South Boston Irish girl with a driven desire to rectify any injustices she can. Her strong Irish roots allow her to add a special touch to fighting the wrongs as she moonlights as the vigilante named Irish Justice. Here is the prologue to the update that introduces her brief back story.
http://www.mccomix.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_itemId=9148

Update Synopsis:
Agent Dora is working late on a project at F.I.A. headquarters as all the other field agents are either out in the field on an assignment or calling it a night and going home. The drive inside of Dora just won’t let her rest until she finds out the information she needs to explore this injustice further. So she stays late, continuing to work and dig up what ever she can find. Enjoy the first update of this storyline as Dora finds out what she’s looking for might not be so beneficial to know.
http://www.mccomix.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_itemId=9152

[Tecknophyle]

A comment on the dialogue.

Writing accents is hard. Very hard. Incredibly hard. Except with a very few exceptions, pretty much impossible. There general advice for writers attempting to write accents out phonetically the way they are here is...don't. Really. Just don't. Some writers can do it and get away with it. Most can't.

The problem isn't with the attempt, the problem is with passing the information on the the reader. You, the writer, may pronounce the dialogue as a Boston accent, but I, as the reader, most likely don't because of the way I pronounce words. When I try to interpret that dialogue I don't get a Boston accent, I get some horribly mutated offspring of French and Oklahoman. Someone else is likely to get a different result if they try.

The easy way for a writer to deal with accents is do not try to replicate them phonetically. That's just mostly doomed to failure unless you use the standard phonetic symbols because of the different way people pronounce phonemes written in the normal alphabet. Give you an example: how do you pronounce the word aunt? I pronounce it as "on-t", others use "ant", and I've heard "ah-ont". Now, look at those three "accents", especially the last. When I wrote that, I mean for the "ah" to sound like the vowel in how I pornounce bat, cat, that, sat and map, because I ponounce those vowels the same way. But I've seen writing where others would interpret the "ah" as the same sound as in pot, cod, fob and, yes, on.

So if I write an snippet of dialogue where I was trying to indicate an accent like so: "I'm going to the city to see my ah-ont", I can guarantee that there will be wildly different interpretations of what the word I was trying to indicate actually is.

Instead of trying to replicate them phonetically, there are four other common ways of doing it.

There's the Chris Claremont method, seen in his X-Men comics, where only certain words are consistantly used (and in some people's opinion, overused) to indicate an accent: Rogue's "mah" for the word my is the standard example. Other than one or two things like that, all her dialogue is written in standard English.

The second method, used also by Claremont but by many other writers, is to throw in a word or phrase commonly used in the dialect, language or accent. Colossus using "tovarich" or Nightcrawler's swearing in German, or the stereotypically Canadian "Eh?", or the even more stereotypical "Bonjour, my name is Fifi your French maid, monsieur", all allow the reader to mentally picture the accent in quesiton without needing the writer trying to replicate it.

The third method, also used fairly often, is to use grammar and phrasing. In many Eastern European languages, articles are often omitted, and sometimes that gets carried over into English. "We go to bar for drinks, you drive car" sounds like a stereotypical Eastern European accent without trying to change the spelling. "Me and the boys think y'all have worn out your welcome in town, folks", just screams a southwest US accent straight out of a cowboy movie. "Whoa, that's some gnarly action, dude" brings yet another accent to mind. And "Pardon me, good sir, but you seem to have trespassed upon my property and I shall be forced to fire upon you if you do not remove yourself immediately" sounds upper-crustish (or the British butler).

The final method is the easiest: simply state the character has a heavy accent and move on. In the looking Glass series by John Ringo, the main character is Dr. William Weaver. Weaver has a ridiculously heavy southern US accent--he was born and raised in Alabama--but Ringo doesn't try to put it in the dialogue. He has other characters comment on Weaver's accent, such as one mention he'd never before heard a theoretical physicist pronounce the word "nuclear" like some hick out of the backwoods.

I didn't mean for this to get so long, and you can take the suggestions for what they are worth.

[dumbtime]

Comment noted. I tried it and, like you said, it wasn't easy. I most likely will revert to to just typing it regular and referring to it being a thick south boston accent. With that being said, I thought all the R's left Boston and went to Oklahoma.

Also, did you like the update? A few words about that would help me tremendously. The forum seems to be pretty dry lately with comments on artist updates.

[Doctor Robo]

Looking good so far, DT. I liked the depth you put into your new "Irish Justice" heroine in the prologue, and how you then got right into the action in part 1. I also think she's a fine looking character too. I'm looking forward to seeing what comes next!

Also, I enjoyed reading Teknophyle's treatise on the various styles of writing accented dialogue. I find myself using the second style most often, particularly with Kikka and Feelix, and perhaps even Dairy King. I do, however, throw in a bit of the first and third styles, just to spice things up a bit. I don't know if there is a 100% correct way to do it, but I do agree that using it too much can become a distraction after a while.

- Doc

[Tecknophyle]

The art is fine, albeit very reminiscent of some of the other artists here (not that that is a bad thing). The story itself isn't groundbeaking, expected in an adaptation, but the adaptation in this case is good. Really, it's too early to give a firm opinion on what I think about it overall, but it is preogressing fine.

The one negative comment I have is related to the prologue, and it's not directed at this story specifically, you're just the unfortunate victim standing in the way when I launch the rant. I know it's pretty much a standard pose and visual cue for a certain state of character, but that straight-fingers thing drives me up the wall. After the extended period of time the characters are supposed to stand that way, I'm surprised any of them can use their fingers. Have you ever tried to hold your hand absolutely flat like that for an extended period of time? There's a reason why standing at attention in many militaries (American, Canadian and British among them) involves having the fingers curled into a loose fist, because that position you can hold for quite some time comfortably.

As I said, I know, standard visual signal.

[dumbtime]

I developed the pose by copying and modifying Fin's version. It's just meant to represent the complete domination the master or object has over the subject, even more so than a soldier standing at attention. The straight fingers and hand position gives the pose more of a rigidity. Its more for looks than actuality. I to am a stickler for detail but, for me in this sense, the detail is in the look.

[Tecknophyle]

Like I said, I know it's a visual detail shorthand that's been developed, just one I find personally bothersome. Which doesn't mean it's bad, just that I notice it.

[dumbtime]

Thursday's update will post tomorrow around 3pm EST. I had the rough drafts done but need to get some post production work and dialogue in there but, duty called and as I was called into to work yesterday and today. I also have to work in the morning so I should have it up by mid afternoon EST. I've finished the post work and need to get the dialogue in but I have to be at work in 3 hours. I need some sleep. Sorry for the delay.

[dumbtime]

Sorry guys. I hate coming in and apologizing for tardiness but my job stirkes again. 2 senior guys who were scheduled to take off the beginning of the week called in to take off this holiday weekend. Since me and this other guy are the low men on the totem pole and no senority to speak of, we had to rearrange our schedules to cover. (It sucks having a part-time on-call job, but the pay is great for this situation.) I still have some small work left to do but right now, i can barely keep my eyes open to focus. I have to cover the morning shift tomorrow and I plan to have the afternoon and evening off to finish her up, so to speak. Lol

Please bare with me with this. I'm sure what is in these pages will make up for it being late.

[leto17]

Real Life Calls. No Problem and good luck!

[dumbtime]

Hello McComix fans,

Well, after a crazy 3 days, I finally have the update done. With out further ado:

Synopsis-
While digging up info on a highly ranking official inside the Dept. of Defense, Dora has been ensnared by a strange device that was implanted in her computer monitor. A sinister cutie has now led her down to a place in the basement unknown by most of the agents in the F.I.A. building. What lurks next for the transfixed Dora as she is helpless to do anything but whatever the vixen in charge says. Check out the update and find out.

http://www.mccomix.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_itemId=9517

[mns_95125]

Nice work; worth the wait. I look forward to the continuation.

I enjoyed the brief appearance of American Amazon. She's a unique character. Usually in these comics status quo is God. Heroines get MCed, but by the end of the story they're back to more-or-less normal. There are a few exceptions, such as Daredoll after Club Pump, but even in her case she knows what has been done to her. Lance Hardwood changed her values and she acts accordingly. Dr. Digitalus goes beyond that: his victory over American Amazon is so complete that she doesn't even know it. She thinks she's a free and independent hero, which makes it all the more powerful when we see her being used as the obedient slave that she actually is. I'd like to see more of that aspect of her character.

Any chance of a 3-way between Dora, Digitalus and AA? Seems to me that after dealing with Irish Justice he'll have earned himself a bit of a 'vacation'...

[Tecknophyle]

Nice mix of established continuity and adaptation of the original short story.

[dumbtime]

She's a unique character.

I tried to take a very popular and generic persona and create a character with a uniqueness that would seperate her from the others. I'm still working on the uniqueness aspect. Stay tuned to her back story and the stories ahead to see her become even more unique.

Usually in these comics status quo is God.

The only status quo here is mind control.

I'd like to see more of that aspect of her character.

As the uniqueness becomes more and more developed so does the development of her character. Trust me, more is coming on this aspect. Pay attention to the Origins story. (I know i'm slow on getting it out there but I have real life issues to deal with from week to week.)

Any chance of a 3-way between Dora, Digitalus and AA? Seems to me that after dealing with Irish Justice he'll have earned himself a bit of a 'vacation'...

Yes, he does and yes, there is a 3 way planned, but it will have a 'twist' and that all i'm going to say about it. Dora may or may not be part of it, but I do know that she has something more deserving cuming her way. Stay tuned in to see how it unfolds.

Nice mix of established continuity and adaptation of the original short story.

Thanks The story was a big part of the inspiration for the whole FB/AA idea and its a perfect way to develope Dr. Digitalus' character.



Thanks for the comments guys. They go a long way in the helping the inspiration and direction of future work(s) and also the quality of that work. Keep'em coming.

[bluemax2]

Dumbtime:
Love the work. I can't wait to see what happens to our heroine.
I also look forward to seeing your other story continue as well.

As I always say, the more mind control the better. Especially when they cannot remember what depravities they've been involved in.

Keep up the great work.

regards,


bluemax