Forgive me for multi-quoting here but I think its the best way to deal with your points Hector- and before I start I'd like to thank you for the time you're putting into analyzing the story I'm telling here. Agree or disagree, I need to know how others see the story so I can adjust it to make sure I'm better delivering the story I intended to.
Hector2 wrote:Queen’s reign # 6 has mood dissonance: First we have Angela trapped, conscious about how dire the situation is not only for her, but for the entire space fleet. Then they talk her about letting the infection come to the base, and she seems only a little disturbed instead of the panic she should feel.
-- Hmm. I was trying to convey a bit of incredulity if not outright panic in Angela. It was only her vehement reaction that reached the security officer to offer to arm himself for it. She is pragmatic if nothing else so outright panic doesn't do anyone any good; including herself.
Then we have the call from Angela’s mother. .. I cannot believe Angela’s attitude, she still acts like a snarky teenager that is condescending with her uncool mom… hello! The alien invasion?
-- I can see the dissonance there... but I would argue that it is *totally* in character for her to deal with conflict and anxiety with flippancy. She's been demoted more than once as we learned early on in the story so there is precedence that her brain-to-mouth-filter is not always functioning properly. Plus- there's the growing aggravation that her mother, while being helpful, never has enough time to explain things to her daughter. It's an aspect of her character that I can easily identify with. I hate it when I'm not given all the information regarding what's going to directly affect me. So is she. Of course, that's exactly what I must do to build drama within the story but she has every right to be annoyed by it.
Then, Angela manages to save her sorry ass when the door opens… only to be distracted by the sexy show ? Again, how can she be so shallow with the destiny of several planets in the whole galaxy on the line?
--I knew I'd get some people annoyed with this one. I took a moment to inject some sexy into the story and Angela (once again, I remind you) gets distracted. But- I would like to point you to the last statement in the narration text on that page as a teaser. I'm afraid I can't say anything more here other than "it wasn't by mistake."
Even when I am always complaining about Angela attitude, I find her a very idealist (if annoying) character, and given that star fleet has always been a series with heavy handed moralism, I find disturbing the implication that she is trying to end the suffering of the security officer. I believe that if a character could avoid that, is Angela.
--On this one you can take whatever position you'd like. I'll tell you right now that although she is carrying the weapon in the cover page for the next chapter I am *NOT* going to go out of my way to tell you what happened after the "fade to black" for a while. If you feel that she wouldn't take that extreme position then that's great- perhaps it will inform her position as events unfold in the future. If you think she has seen enough to drive her to a more militant solution then that's entirely possible as well. Its part of watching her character evolve as the story continues.
She is the eye of the storm and is watching all of the destruction happen all around her. Right now she's just running- trying to save herself before she can do anything to save the planet/galaxy.
The opportunity to actually DO something about it is where we're headed in the next couple chapters.
[[[ Watch this space ]]]
Champ wrote:Epic awesomeness! I can't wait to see how this continues on! Its great!
-- I didn't forget you Champ. Thanks for the comment!
