Prized Displays

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Prized Displays

Postby mctek » August 3rd, 2011, 10:24 pm

Hey gang!

Bringing you another story for you guys to feast on! Hope you enjoy this short story! Thanks to Doc and fin for letting me goof around some more in metrobay. Plus a shout out to North and trish for helping me out fleshing out this story!

MCtek~

Prized Displays #1

While Kyla Menlos misadventures at the Resort have ended, the tragic story of Honeydoll continues as more is revealed about the McNorms and their lust for the hunt! Only at MCcomix!

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Re: Prized Displays

Postby MacroLass » August 3rd, 2011, 10:45 pm

Interesting story. It'll be nifty to see the back stories of some of the other captured heroines played out.

The fantasy angle is...odd. I admit I'd prefer to see her back as Honeydoll but I'm willing to withhold judgement to see how the story plays out.
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Re: Prized Displays

Postby steverogers5 » August 4th, 2011, 9:38 am

Great new story! Was getting a real Moira MacTaggart vibe from the dialogue! Be interesting to see where this goes. Esepecially with Valient Woman getting into the mix! :)

Keep up the good work!
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Re: Prized Displays

Postby NemoVoid » August 4th, 2011, 5:57 pm

Let's see... frozen heroines, living sex dolls and mind-reformatting machines... all in the first issue?

I'd say it's a fantastic start! :-)
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Re: Prized Displays

Postby sohta123 » August 6th, 2011, 10:43 am

Love the thought to a Dark Honey program running in Honey Doll's mind. That's a great angle to separate the mind like that.
Just don't let her get out of the program by sheer will or one of her friends needing her, etc. That kinda cheapens the power of the program.
Can't wait to see what sinister things that Dark Honey might do (hopefully build a 'nest' and start her own hive).

Mind control is great but the corruption of a hero added to that is so hot. :twisted:

Keep up the great work.
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Re: Prized Displays

Postby Hector2 » August 6th, 2011, 7:48 pm

Hi MCtek

This is only a brief comment: This issue was your best work! It has everything an ASFR fan want and then some! Your characters, situations and ideas are very good!

I expect to make a better review soon!

Hector
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Re: Prized Displays

Postby Hector2 » August 10th, 2011, 10:49 pm

Dear MCtek:

As NemoVoid states it, you touch a lot of very interesting themes in your first issue: Let’s see some of them:
In the first place, I like the passing of the time: This is a very cruel angle of the ASFR fetish: all the life they are stealing of the victim. Three months Honeydoll will never get back (unless she joins Time Command) and then, unable to think. ( I also loved the comments to the Diddler changes on her body). The idea of placing a heroine in some place of the mansion is good too, but the best part came at page 6: The pose of Honeydoll is great, but the better part is the radio ball gag that reproduces the voice of Honeydoll! That’s brilliant!

I assume the radio ball gag has some stock phrases. I loved “Never fiend” and “My friends will come for me”. I suggest “You never we’ll get away with this”. Also, page 7 has the best scene of Honeydoll being “manipulated”.

I loved Grandpa McNorm interrumpting and threatening Irene. That woman doesn’t have any respect for old traditions. It’s sad. At least his Grandpa assigns her a mission or… his money is gone. Awesome! Could she capture the legendary Valiant Woman… alone? This seems more like a trap for the hunter that for the hunted…

Page 12 shows us the sad Honeydoll’s state: I think that for someone with that fetish, Irene doesn’t respect her “prizes” enough.

The idea of the displacement Machine is great, stopping time for the subject and letting him pose is a stroke of genius.

I love the contrast of the characters of Irene and Tulia. Irene only thinks of the present and pleasure. Tulia is the woman with imagination and plans.
Macrolass is right, why the fantasy setting? After all, HoneyDoll is a scientist and I think is the least likely scenary she fall for… but then again, I must wait to see the next chapter.

Tulia is really a very resourcefoul woman, she managed to change Honeydolls personality trapping the real personality. The corruption of the Hero, as sotha123 said, is an interesting angle, but here is not corruption, is a new personality. DarkHoney 2.0… what happened to 1.0? I also loved the helmet. Very retro.
The two last scenes were very good! Irene must have get gagballs for all! But then, anyone remembers how were their voices?

I am not familiar with the irish slang, so SteveRogers reference to Moira McTaggert (of the X men books) it’s somehow obscure to me, but I would like to make some observations:

1. This work rocks!
2. How many issues are planned for this series?
3. Forget Irene, Tulia is the woman with the plan!

Thanks for your work!

Hector2
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Re: Prized Displays

Postby nitpicker » August 17th, 2011, 10:11 pm

NIce preview pic. Looks like Enormica is about to make her debut here.
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Re: Prized Displays

Postby mctek » September 1st, 2011, 12:34 am

Hey gang!

Once again, bringing you another isuue for you guys to feast on! Hope you enjoy this short story! Thanks to Northern Chill for the great help with dialogue work, Some things came up and he gladly stepped in to help. :D As for the fantasy thing, Bea is basically trapped in a dream land being controlled by Tulia, so she really believes that is her world and thus is not fighting it. this will be a short 5 issue comic that will lead into another story to come here soon, Hector2 :D I hope you like what is to come. Thanks again for all your awesome comments, keep'em coming.

MCtek~

Prized Displays #2

The tragic story of Honeydoll continues as Irene McNorm and her trusted lover and scientist, Tulia Put the heroine's body to good use, but wait, it appears someone has trespassed onto the mansion, find out who it is! Only at MCcomix!

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Re: Prized Displays

Postby MacroLass » September 1st, 2011, 5:25 am

First the good. The art is lovely, especially the images of Bea and her doll. Enormica's costume could use a bit more of...something...and Nightengale looks washed out, obscured by her force bubble, but all in all it was quite nice to look at.

Sadly, I find myself utterly unable to get past the story.

I admit that a good deal of this is because I'm irked because Sword and Shield hasn't been finished. I realize that it was a free story but that doesn't excuse stampeding past it just because it was inconvenient to wait for it to be done. But the fact you felt free to do that illustrates a larger problem in that your stories have no consequences for the villains (I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say the story is still out on the heroes). Obviously Ringmistress wasn't impeded by being thwarted (if indeed she was) at the end of S&S because she was still merrily cranking away with her nanotech in Resort Tales, so why should we care about anything that happens after? It'll just be ignored if it becomes inconvenient again.

Which leads me to my next point that the villains and their devices are infallible. The heroines obviously have many foibles but the bad guys are perfect. Honeydoll being an absolute and PERFECT duplicate of the original, utterly undetectable by anyone, is only the most egregious example (and you aren't the only author I have this problem with). I get the fact that the heroines are supposed to be put in bad situations for tittilation but the fact that their skills and powers are for naught and only sheer luck helps them escape to fight another day just grates on me.

This is pretty much just me blowing off steam because I know your stories are what they are and it's unlikely that my opinion is going to change things one whit. And it IS just my opinion...which honestly doesn't affect the enjoyment of everyone else who reads your stories. But I'm a firm believer in the idea that you don't grow as an author or an artist if you aren't challenged, and knowing that someone out there isn't 100% happy with what you're doing might spur you on to try to improve in the future.
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Re: Prized Displays

Postby mctek » September 1st, 2011, 10:03 am

Hey all,

First up i fixed some errors on page 1 and 21, will see about clearing up nigthengale scenes :D

MarcoLass - thanks, for the feedback, as I stated before, I'll taken in all kind of feedback, we don't grow without both the good and the bad. As for the current story, we are only into the second issue, and there is more to come. The nature of the stories here at MCcomix are mostly in the favor of the villian and while the heroines do need to win, I think the stories we write are the ones where they've utterly defeated and taken control of. Heroines have won in the past and I have shown that happening before and will so later on.

Sword and Shield

Alright I think I had enough now.

I will not get stabbed in the head, tossed under the bus or shot in the face for a very private PERSONAL reason for switching to poser art and thus affecting Sword and Shield. My personal life is not for display and shouldn't have to get involved with the things that happen here. And I did offer to finish this story in Poser to which Trish has declined to take me up on. I will not be hold at gunpoint for something that is out of my hands.

MCtek~
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Re: Prized Displays

Postby Akonkid » September 1st, 2011, 12:56 pm

MacroLass wrote:I admit that a good deal of this is because I'm irked because Sword and Shield hasn't been finished. I realize that it was a free story but that doesn't excuse stampeding past it just because it was inconvenient to wait for it to be done. But the fact you felt free to do that illustrates a larger problem in that your stories have no consequences for the villains (I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say the story is still out on the heroes). Obviously Ringmistress wasn't impeded by being thwarted (if indeed she was) at the end of S&S because she was still merrily cranking away with her nanotech in Resort Tales, so why should we care about anything that happens after? It'll just be ignored if it becomes inconvenient again.


While I agree that I, too, would like Sword & Shield finished (like, a YEAR ago) and it's unbelievably upsetting that it got postponed on its LAST issue (NOBODY likes a cliffhanger that exists for no reason), Tek's hardly the only person to jump around with the timeline and show villains in action again before the prior story had finished. While I don't encourage it, I myself have done this, and for good reasons.

"Body Image", for example, has Valient Grrl running around freely before her brainwashing by Belinda. Obviously, we know she's going to escape. We know she's even still with Alpha Woman when the later story hits. So why read it? Because it plants the seeds for other ideas and future stories. I know Trishbot is working hard on a future Valient Grrl story that will be mind-blowing, and the events of "Hypnotica" and "Body Image" were just the lead-ins. For things to change in the future, they have to have precedent in the past.

MacroLass wrote:Which leads me to my next point that the villains and their devices are infallible. The heroines obviously have many foibles but the bad guys are perfect. Honeydoll being an absolute and PERFECT duplicate of the original, utterly undetectable by anyone, is only the most egregious example (and you aren't the only author I have this problem with). I get the fact that the heroines are supposed to be put in bad situations for tittilation but the fact that their skills and powers are for naught and only sheer luck helps them escape to fight another day just grates on me.

Now this I'll agree with. A rule of thumb when creating a heroine or a villain is you create them with both great power AND great flaws and weaknesses to exploit. "Invincible" heroes and villains are boring and uninteresting, and that's one of the big things that I dislike about Ring Mistress. She's practically a walking deus ex machina; whatever she does is practically magic. I find it frustrating that Doc, Fin, Trishbot, and Uroboros spent years creating a universe where humanoid robots exist, but the technology is still decades away from making them convincingly human. LISA, Mechana, Cyren, and Sentius are proof of this. And then Ring Mistress creates a perfect human replica on her first try that's so good, even Alpha Woman, a telepath that can read minds, can't figure out the truth. Even when a heroine like Enormica probes fake Honeydoll's naked body all over, she can't figure it out. We just jumped forward decades of advancement. The only way I could possibly accept or explain it is if Ring Mistress is a time traveler from the future.

But, as MacroLass states, all the villains are just cocky, unbeatable opponents. Part of the reason I enjoy comics and reading comics, even fetish ones with mind control themes, is the thrill of the hunt and the challenges both heroes AND villains must overcome. It's just not fun to see one single woman outclass, outmatch, and outsmart every last single heroine that comes her way (that goes for both Irene and Ring Mistress). It doesn't matter if it's Duality Dame (best fighter on earth), Kat Krusader, Valient Grrl, Notre Dame, HoneyDoll, Alpha Woman, Snowflake... etc. I agree... it's just, to me, not a good read if the heroines "luck" into victory all the time (and I don't mean to pick on you, specifically, Tek. Doc, Trishbot, Fin, and even myself are guilty of this).

mctek wrote:MarcoLass - thanks, for the feedback, as I stated before, I'll taken in all kind of feedback, we don't grow without both the good and the bad. As for the current story, we are only into the second issue, and there is more to come. The nature of the stories here at MCcomix are mostly in the favor of the villian and while the heroines do need to win, I think the stories we write are the ones where they've utterly defeated and taken control of. Heroines have won in the past and I have shown that happening before and will so later on.

I don't think MacroLass's issue is that the heroines "win", it's rather HOW they win. I know I complained that Ms. Metrobay has not legitimately defeated a single badguy since her debut, and that's a black mark on her record, and I can't recall a single story you've done where the heroine wins without tons of luck. Snowflake "lucked" her way into breaking free of Ring Mistress's control. Shield "lucked" her way into defeating Greg Northern.

For me, personally, a villain can't just win. That's boring. The balance of power must shift on occasion. Villains need to show humanity, weakness, and make mistakes that are readily apparent. A villain like Belinda is almost exactly like Ring Mistress, but she's far more nuanced. You understand why she makes the decisions she makes. You know why she fails or succeeds. You see her flaws stand out a mile away. Same goes for Dr. Twisted, Max Indeks, Sentius, and others. Irene is a BIG step in the right direction, starting OFF as a dishonored villain. That's very refreshing. But she should struggle far more than she has if she's seriously going to capture superheroines and she's only a rookie villain. I'd be disappointed if she just snatched up Omega Woman or Valient Grrl with less effort than it takes to make a ham sandwich.

mctek wrote:Sword and Shield

Alright I think I had enough now.

I will not get stabbed in the head, tossed under the bus or shot in the face for a very private PERSONAL reason for switching to poser art and thus affecting Sword and Shield. My personal life is not for display and shouldn't have to get involved with the things that happen here. And I did offer to finish this story in Poser to which Trish has declined to take me up on. I will not be hold at gunpoint for something that is out of my hands.


This is an iffy topic, one I don't wish to dive into (I already have), but I will say this: take responsibility for your actions. Even if it has negative consequences for your writer and your audience, it was YOUR decision, and if you must stick to it, than accept the burden of the backlash. Something like this isn't beyond your control unless your hands got hacked off; it's a personal reason; I get that, but that was still your decision to make.

But your readers and fans don't know that. You kept us all in the dark and we can only speculate. Did you just lose interest? Did you have a falling out with the writer? Did you disagree on the direction the story was heading? Was the workload too heavy? Did the offer for a paid slot change your priorities? Did you feel the story was unimportant? Did someone else accuse you of ripping off their characters? Was their a contradiction in the timeline that needed to be worked out? Did someone else say you can't use their characters (certainly wasn't me...)?

And here's the deal: People are upset and disappointed because we DO care about "Sword & Shield" and we DO want the story to be completed. I'm a HUGE fan of the comic and I embraced the hand-drawn art completely. I agree with Trishbot; it's a 2D comic; that's it's heart and soul and I would rather wait longer to have it finished so long as it stayed hand-drawn. I would not want the comic to be done in poser; it being hand-drawn is half the reason I read it.

So consider that the merits of your success on that story, and on these other stories. We may complain sometimes, but we do so because we do care what happens in these stories. You've captured our interest, and we all want these stories to be the best they can be. We want to see them through to completion, we want the villains to emerge as more complex, interesting people, we want the heroines to do more than be mindless body counts. And you've become a thousand-fold better at this since you began, so I have no worries you'll emerge from this stories a much stronger writer, artist, and creator. But the road to that path is rocky, and until then, I and others patiently wait for the wrinkles to be ironed out, the loose ends to be tied up, and the weight of unresolved stories to be cast off so we can all move on instead of being told to move on before we're ready.
If she would just do what I asked, I wouldn't need to use mind control!
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Re: Prized Displays

Postby MacroLass » September 1st, 2011, 1:39 pm

Akonkid:

tl;dr

JUST KIDDING!

I couldn't have said it better myself. I agree with pretty much EVERYTHING that you posted, I'll expand on a couple of things in a post below.

Just wanted to dash off a quick note though to thank you for helping to clarify my position.
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Re: Prized Displays

Postby Tecknophyle » September 1st, 2011, 1:49 pm

Akonkid wrote:[
For me, personally, a villain can't just win. That's boring. The balance of power must shift on occasion. Villains need to show humanity, weakness, and make mistakes that are readily apparent. A villain like Belinda is almost exactly like Ring Mistress, but she's far more nuanced. You understand why she makes the decisions she makes. You know why she fails or succeeds. You see her flaws stand out a mile away. Same goes for Dr. Twisted, Max Indeks, Sentius, and others. Irene is a BIG step in the right direction, starting OFF as a dishonored villain. That's very refreshing. But she should struggle far more than she has if she's seriously going to capture superheroines and she's only a rookie villain. I'd be disappointed if she just snatched up Omega Woman or Valient Grrl with less effort than it takes to make a ham sandwich.


Concur. Take a look at the great villains, and you'll see those flaws. Palpatine didn't lose because of luck (mostly: there was luck involved that Leia encountered the Ewoks), he lost because he neglected to consider the possibility that a man who was willing to betray his friends to save his wife could be willing to betray his new master in order to save his son. In the Star Wars Expanded Universe novels, Thrawn wasn't defeated due to bad luck but because he had no way of knowing that Leia was Vader's daughter. Lex Luthor and Dr. Doom have their incredible egos which cause them to do things which the heroes use against them all the time, plus they aren't as smart as they think they are (in comparison to the other very intelligent people in their respective universes). Sovereign is defeated in Mass Effect because it allowed its fight with Shepard to get personal, and depending on the decision the player makes, the Illusive Man completely underestimates the loyalty Shepard inspires in the people s/he leads in the second game (which is also the downfall of the Collectors).

I'll give a good example that even involves mind control. I've recently been reading the classic Telzey Amberdon short stories and in one Telzey, herself a powerful psionic, is mind-controlled by another psionic who manages to catch her unaware. She is completely in his power. She knows she's been controlled but it doesn't matter; she'll do anything he wants, sacrifice her life for him, several of her most powerful abilities have been locked out, and she's been instructed to always look out for his best interests. Them they get in a situation where they're trapped in a facility with a powerful psionic alien on the way who will, at best, mind-control them both into worshipers before it eats them...or it just might eat them first. The other psionic is critically injured and unconscious, leaving Telzey alone and without her best psionic tools. But she ends up winning thanks to her own quick wits: she realizes that her master's best interest would be in surviving, and with him unable to provide instructions to the contrary, that the only way that can happen is if Telzey has access to her full capabilities and the freedom to use them as she sees fit. Mind control broken.

The bad guy isn't stupid: he realizes he's playing with fire in controlling Telzey and is very careful to ensure he retains control. He simply overlooked the unlikely scenario that Telzey would be in a position where she'd have to act without orders to save his life and need her abilities to do so.
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Re: Prized Displays

Postby MacroLass » September 1st, 2011, 3:39 pm

Akonkid wrote:While I agree that I, too, would like Sword & Shield finished (like, a YEAR ago) and it's unbelievably upsetting that it got postponed on its LAST issue (NOBODY likes a cliffhanger that exists for no reason), Tek's hardly the only person to jump around with the timeline and show villains in action again before the prior story had finished. While I don't encourage it, I myself have done this, and for good reasons.


I realize this and I empathize with Tek and how hard it must have been. But I'm doing him a disservice if he asks for commentary and I only reply to tell him "Great job man!" when there's things he should know are bothering people. As long as there's a reason, that's fine.

Akonkid wrote: "Invincible" heroes and villains are boring and uninteresting, and that's one of the big things that I dislike about Ring Mistress. She's practically a walking deus ex machina; whatever she does is practically magic. I find it frustrating that Doc, Fin, Trishbot, and Uroboros spent years creating a universe where humanoid robots exist, but the technology is still decades away from making them convincingly human. LISA, Mechana, Cyren, and Sentius are proof of this. And then Ring Mistress creates a perfect human replica on her first try that's so good, even Alpha Woman, a telepath that can read minds, can't figure out the truth. Even when a heroine like Enormica probes fake Honeydoll's naked body all over, she can't figure it out. We just jumped forward decades of advancement. The only way I could possibly accept or explain it is if Ring Mistress is a time traveler from the future.


AMEN, BROTHER! TESTIFY! :D Doc's "bread and butter" in Metrobay are his robots...to have RingMistress be able to casually to make better bots than LISA and Mechana just feels wrong.

Akonkid wrote:I don't think MacroLass's issue is that the heroines "win", it's rather HOW they win. I know I complained that Ms. Metrobay has not legitimately defeated a single badguy since her debut, and that's a black mark on her record, and I can't recall a single story you've done where the heroine wins without tons of luck. Snowflake "lucked" her way into breaking free of Ring Mistress's control. Shield "lucked" her way into defeating Greg Northern.

For me, personally, a villain can't just win. That's boring. The balance of power must shift on occasion. Villains need to show humanity, weakness, and make mistakes that are readily apparent. A villain like Belinda is almost exactly like Ring Mistress, but she's far more nuanced. You understand why she makes the decisions she makes. You know why she fails or succeeds. You see her flaws stand out a mile away. Same goes for Dr. Twisted, Max Indeks, Sentius, and others. Irene is a BIG step in the right direction, starting OFF as a dishonored villain. That's very refreshing. But she should struggle far more than she has if she's seriously going to capture superheroines and she's only a rookie villain. I'd be disappointed if she just snatched up Omega Woman or Valient Grrl with less effort than it takes to make a ham sandwich.


I'll make a very risky statement (for this crowd at least :lol: ) and say that I *prefer* it when the heroines win. It all comes down to the dynamics.

The bad guys can deal with being thwarted. They can run away and return some other day, get caught and be sent to jail (thus allowing them to escape and show more of their cleverness), or even if they're killed/destroyed there's always some miraculous explanation for how they survived and were able to return to face the heroes again.

Contrast that to the heroines. If they lose permanently, that's usually the end of their story unless they become henchwenches at which point they aren't really the character they were before. Becoming a statue or a sextoy is even less interesting after the initial degradation, their plight quickly loses its shock value. But even if they DO get away, it's a cheat to just have them conveniently forget because that gives them no continuity. And if they DO remember...well, not to get too real here but people have been emotionally scarred for years from less. A rational person, no matter how devoted to the cause of justice, just wouldn't keep throwing themselves into a meatgrinder. Sure, you can get past that by using a constant flow of new victims but then you have no chance to build up a long lasting fan base.

No, the heroines NEED victories.

Without hope, there's no reason to even bother trying because they know in their hearts it's a pointless gesture. Without faith that they can do good, sacrifices are just public masochism. And without the public's belief that they CAN win the day, all they are is sluts prancing around in skimpy costumes and "asking for it".

Akonkid wrote:And here's the deal: People are upset and disappointed because we DO care about "Sword & Shield" and we DO want the story to be completed. I'm a HUGE fan of the comic and I embraced the hand-drawn art completely. I agree with Trishbot; it's a 2D comic; that's it's heart and soul and I would rather wait longer to have it finished so long as it stayed hand-drawn. I would not want the comic to be done in poser; it being hand-drawn is half the reason I read it.

So consider that the merits of your success on that story, and on these other stories. We may complain sometimes, but we do so because we do care what happens in these stories. You've captured our interest, and we all want these stories to be the best they can be. We want to see them through to completion, we want the villains to emerge as more complex, interesting people, we want the heroines to do more than be mindless body counts. And you've become a thousand-fold better at this since you began, so I have no worries you'll emerge from this stories a much stronger writer, artist, and creator. But the road to that path is rocky, and until then, I and others patiently wait for the wrinkles to be ironed out, the loose ends to be tied up, and the weight of unresolved stories to be cast off so we can all move on instead of being told to move on before we're ready.


EXACTLY.

Take that as a compliment Tek that people still care enough to ask for it to be finished after all this time.
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